I am a wife to Logan and a mother to our 3 precious children (by October they will be 7, 14, & 16). These 2 roles sum up a majority of my purpose in this season of life. However, I am first and foremost a follower of Christ. This sums up my role in every season of my life, and I endeavor to take it very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I believe it must take precedence over every other role that defines me – wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.
Two summers ago (2018), when Logan and I first began to sense that the Lord really might be leading us to serve Him in overseas missions, I had some wrestling and grieving to do. As a mother, my first thoughts have gone to my children. How will they handle the changes? Will they be resentful that we’ve uprooted them from a life that they love? Will they be safe where we’d be moving? (More on that in part 2) What if they decide to move back to the States after high school and live lives far away from Logan and me rather than choosing to stay and serve in Scotland alongside us? Honestly, that was my biggest source of tears. I love my children. I have invested in them daily since their births and have had very few days apart from them. We’ve chosen to homeschool them as well, so from day 1 of kindergarten until the final day of high school graduation, I will have spent school days with them as well, overseeing their instruction and learning alongside them. Aside from my husband, my children are my closest friends.
Am I prepared to make a choice to serve God, if He leads, that may separate me from them at some point? Here is what I (and all of us as believers) must ask: Is God really real? I mean real enough to be willing to give up the comforts of predictability, surrounded by those we know and love, to serve Him if He asks? Is he worth it? Through my tears two years ago and now while writing this, I respond with a resounding YES!!! Whatever treasure we hold most dear, we must hold it with an open hand and trust a sovereign God. If He has called me, I am compelled within to say I’ll go! I have to trust the results of that decision and my (and my children’s future) in His very capable hands. If He has called Logan and me, then He has called our children as well, at least for this season of their lives. Any struggles we, or they, encounter, we must seek the Lord for help. Here’s my comfort: If He’s called us to it, He will help us through it. That includes if one of our children suffers in some way or if I must one day hug them goodbye in a Scottish airport. The Lord sees me obey through my tears and fears, and I believe He is honored. I want to love Him more than anything in this life. Let’s all hold on to Jesus’s promises and loosen our grip on all else. He gave up absolutely everything for us; how can we not be willing to do the same?
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.”